Staff Meeting – Friday 15 May 2020

In Attendance:

Me – Chair, Designer, Maker, Publicity, Website, Everything else

Jyp – Head of Security and Apprentice

Husband – Maintenance Officer

Son – Technical Support Officer, Chief Food Taster.

The meeting started at 10 am after our daily exercise

Officers’ Reports


The Chair began by complimenting all the staff on a supreme effort to ensure that her mother’s funeral went well. All performed their duties exceptionally well Special thanks and appreciation to the Technical Support Officer for a sublime performance of Ashokan Farewell on his violin. His grandmother would have been very proud. There was a slight concern as several family members present were reminiscing over inappropriate behaviour that the Head of Security had allegedly indulged in during a meeting earlier this year before the current emergency, with one of the family. The Chair was rather embarrassed to hear of this and Head of Security was reminded that any convictions in court regarding this would result in serious disciplinary action!

Additionally we enjoyed festivities on VE Day with home made scones and some bubbles on the patio. With everything else going on it seemed appropriate to be grateful that we weren’t currently at war as well! The Chair also reported that she had to make an unplanned visit to the Urgent Care Centre at the hospital as her wrist was still painful from her fall several weeks ago. The good news was that the queue wasn’t too bad and she hadn’t broken it so presumably in time it will get better. She is managing to work although she keeps over doing things and making it hurt more! Oops. Understandably work has been tricky this week but she has been making some new Seaside Enamels that she is really excited by. She is concentrating on making pieces that bring her peace and make her remember some happier times. Hopefully some people will want to buy them when they are finished.

Head of Security

Jyp stated that he and the Maintenance Officer are continuing to carry out a patrol of the perimeter every morning. They regularly discover more small holes providing further evidence of insurgence activity in the garden area. Further surveillance is required in order to ascertain their identity. The Head of Security was asked to seek contact with their special envoy to ascertain their aims and objectives and to try and negotiate that they seek alternative routes. The current situation was untenable as it brings about the almost inevitable meeting between him and next doors Head of Security which is a situation that must be avoided at all costs!


Jyp stated he had been kept very busy doing Emotional Support and Head of Security duties and was continuing with his search and rescue training. No precious metals had been found yet but he was very pleased to report he had found a ball belonging to next doors Head of Security which was most pleasing!

Maintenance Officer

Husband reported that he was continuing to carry out a daily inspection of the boundaries with the Head of Security. He reiterated the concerns over insurgents activities in the garden area and was kept very busy blocking up homes on a daily basis. Additionally they had dug up his peas so he really wasn’t happy!

Technical Support Officer

Son reported that he was continuing to work and progress was very good on his assignments and he was pleased that his playing had gone well at the funeral. Additionally he has cooked another lasagne for the family and continues to enjoy the range of meals being cooked by the Chair and for the daily barista duties performed by the Chief Maintenance Officer.

General Business

Dog hair, mud, exceeds glasses and crockery continue to be a problem. One thing is that there aren’t any visitors so does it matter? This is a topic for further debate, preferably with a glass of a nice warm red or a crispy dry white one.

The meeting ended. The next staff meeting is scheduled for a weeks time unless anything very important comes up before.