Staff meeting – Fri, 1 May 2020

In Attendance:

Me – Chair, Designer, Maker, Publicity, Website, Everything else

Jyp – Head of Security and Apprentice

Husband – Maintenance Officer

Son – Technical Support Officer, Chief Food Taster.

The meeting started at 10 am after our daily exercise

Officers’ Reports


The Chair reported that she had been continuing to work and that she was very excited about the new pieces that she has completed and the new work just begun. This is good. She also reported that sadly no more progress had been made on the online shop. This is not so good. The Chair reported she is continuing to do her Ballet classes online and had taken up the clarinet again. She had also tried to continue her Tap classes and was trying to master the Time Step so she could impress her teacher when she returns to classes once they are able to restart. This wasn’t going so well especially as the Head of Security was apt to act very inappropriately when she started bouncing around! The Chair reminded Jyp that this was frankly harassment which was actually a very serious workplace infringement! If this continued there would be a written warning! She was however very happy with the continued Emotional Support given by the Apprentice and asked for this to carryon as required.

Head of Security

Jyp stated that he and the Maintenance Officer are continuing to carry out a patrol of the perimeter every morning. There is a very small hole that has appeared in the neighbours fence but this appeared to be too small for Jyp to fit through. The Chair reminded him not to think about eating the wood around it in order to enlarge it as this was likely to result in serious consequences, loss of treats and the very real risk of pieces of him requiring stitching back together if next door’s Head of Security caught him! Jyp said he suspected the hole may have been created by a terrorist cell who were carrying out recognisance around the possible new site for a safe house within the garden area. He wasn’t sure yet if they were members of foxy faced or the stripy faced gang. He stated he was carrying out regular patrols but suspected that most of the activity occurred at night. Was there any chance of relaxing the kitchen door policy in order to facilitate nighttime operations? The Chair reiterated there was no chance of this!


Jyp stated he had been kept very busy doing Emotional Support and Head of Security duties. He also reported that he had been undergoing training in Search and Rescue with the aim that he could search for pieces of metal and gem stones that the Chair had dropped whist working! Both him and the Chair were very excited about this. The Chair said perhaps he could practise when she wasn’t working and look for the (very) small 18ct gold star, a garnet trillion and several random earrings that had escaped during finishing over recent years. Really good treats would be paid for success. If all goes well she intends to hire him out to other Jewellers as she suspects there could be a real market for his services, once we are out of quarantine of course.

Maintenance Officer

Husband reported that he was continuing to carry out a daily inspection of the boundaries with the Head of Security. The new fence panels should be arriving today and he will arrange to fit those at the earliest opportunity. He was also pleased to report that all the little veggies were growing beautifully and soon there would be some salad leaves available. He had also very successfully carried out a complete reorganisation of the Herb and Spice drawers and all that were stale or out of date had been replaced. They were all now being regularly used to provide exciting new meal ideas.

Technical Support Officer

Son reported that he was continuing to work and progress was very good on his assignments. He had also begun learning German and started playing his violin again with the aim that he could play at his grandmothers funeral like he had done for his grandfather. The Chair was very appreciative of his efforts. He also expressed approval of all the meals that were being cooked and the many new recipes being experimented with.

General Business

Dog hair on everything continues to be a problem and increased grooming and hoovering was required. It was suggested the culprit for this might like to get his paw out and perhaps try and help in this regard! The farm shop food boxes are proving a real success and all are happy with the meals that result from them. As they are somewhat unpredictable as to the exact contents this is resulting in lots of different recipes being tried. The Chair was very pleased to report that these had been very well received. Even the cauliflower and Brussels tops that no one thought that they liked had actually been delicious! Frozen red chillis and the fresh garlic supplied in them had been very useful!

The meeting ended. The next staff meeting is scheduled for a weeks time unless anything very important comes up before.